Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
