from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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