they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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