Can Purell be used as lube?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
