dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
