My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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