pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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