I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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