ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
