i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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