WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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