the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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