It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
