Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
