We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
