Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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