I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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