I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
