and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
