so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
