My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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