Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
