Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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