i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
