Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
