She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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