sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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