Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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