Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
