i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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