We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
