should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
