I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
