You're completely useless in the revolution.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
