Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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