I feel like I'm in dance class right now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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