some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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