I'm really into asian looking animals
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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