He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im part way to drunk.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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