The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
