He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
