Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
