i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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