i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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