what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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