i permit you to call me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
