she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
