look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The adults are the big ones right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
