wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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