I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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