we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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