When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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