dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
