i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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