margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
