I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
