Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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