Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you would pick up someone in the library
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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