you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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